Lurid Pines III: Revenge on the Cannibal Hamsters

They decide to take revenge on the cannibal hamsters. Naida hires half a dozen henchmen: Amberto Azul, a flamboyant Greenlander, Katusha, a fellow Yellowlander with spikey armor, Aina, the Great Folk city guard, and Ten, Twed and Ven, all of them Great Folk bone farmers, seduced by the prospect of getting rich. 

 

The Lurid Pines

While the Great Folk farmers carry the Gatling gun up the mountain, Azul scouts out the cave and stumbles upon bloated Zombies standing eerily still between the ferns. Azul draws them out into the open where they are cut down by a hail of bullets and explode in a shower of blue goo. The bone farmers start carrying the crates of Biomantic gear out of the cave when suddenly three hamsters rise swiftly from the ferns and attack. Ven gets killed by friendly fire and Azure severely wounded before the heroes decide to retreat. In their murderous frenzy the hamsters pursue them almost catching up to Hamish who in the last moment dives and exposes the cannibals to another barrage of gunfire. The last surviving hamster manages to flee back into the cave but fails to hide behind the ferns who part and expose him to the swift justice of more bullets. Clearly Naida had made some friends among the motile ferns.

 

Just add Diesel

They take out the heat ray nodule in the maintenance tunnel by throwing bone grenades and send Azul to explore. He finds an old diesel engine down a shaft and another way out of the cave. Ajax reconnoiters the other tunnel and makes contact with cybernetic prairie dogs who would rather be left alone. Following Ajax the heroes find the Autofacs production floor where Naida strikes a deal with the prairie dogs: They will tolerate their presence if in return the diesel engine is refuelled. 

 

Schematics of a cybernetically enhanced dog 

In the control room Azure - desperate to revive Saffron - connects the crystal snail via Cataract to the motherboard. Who will emerge from the undeath of stored data: Saffron, Johnny-7 ... or something else? They switch on the machine. 

 

 Actual Play: https://youtu.be/M1Tkmop7pYA

 

x

A Shock Peddler

The Wonders of the West

Edited by Mencia di Giallo

All stories written by Naida

Issue 7

Midnight In The Deathlands

The Vanishing Vome

We had reached the Caravansery at the Steppe of the Lime Nomads when the horror attacked - a vome, taller than anything you have ever feared, larger than anything you have ever had nightmares about, dripping putrefaction and death as it lumbered toward us, a doom in filth and vile secretions approaching. A group of hateful, murderous Redlander thieves sought glory in dying in trying to wound it while the rest of us hastily packed our wagons and carts, hoping to flee before we too became corrupted and diseased. However, the strangest and most curious thing happened - as the lethal Redlandlander bandits closed in on this unimaginably huge vome, it vanished as suddenly as it had appeared. The Redlanders milled about in confusion, wondering why the death they sought had escaped them. The rest of us continued packing and left swiftly. We could wonder what happened as we traveled and put distance between us and that disappearing biomechanical dreadnought.

The Ash White Hellgazers

There are many tribes you may encounter in the Deathlands, but few are as terrifying as the Ash White Hellgazers who paint their faces with bleached bone dust and engage in strange rituals to speak with the dead. If you see one of their fetishes, your only chance to survive is to immediately stop, make camp, and offer to share your food with them. If they accept, you are safe for one day - no more. And the next time they see you, it may be in the Circle Of Blood, and the dust of your bones may be adorning their faces.

The Claws That Dig Graves

We saw them in the distance, dirt exploding around them as they savaged the earth with their wickedly long and horrifying sharp talons that could cleave a humanoid in half with no effort at all. They saw us coming and before we had time to prepare, these savage, heavily armored beasts were upon us, reeking of ash and cinnabar, old dried blood the color of rust staining their scaled paws! We fought desperately but in no time at all, they had overwhelmed us, leaving us no choice but to parlay; we surrendered one of our traveling party to them in marriage to secure safe passage through their terrifying lands. This is not a place for the weak of body, mind, or spirit. Moments like these will haunt me for the rest of my days.

The Death That Stalks From The Underworld

After losing one of our party to those horrible, clawed beasts who defy description in their disgusting savagery, we were all somber, lost in our thoughts. That is the only explanation I have for why we missed several dozen revolting vomish snakes with metallic fangs still moist from whatever unholy seepage they leave on each other as they attend to themselves. They attacked us from underground, striking up through the roadway in an attempt to claim our souls for whatever demons they serve, gnashing through the soil and grievously wounding one of our party as the rest of us set about with whatever we had at hand to beat these monsters back to whatever fiery hell they called home. We gasped for breath, covered in their oily, black, infectious blood, knowing that we were wounded as well and might soon discover how it felt to become a vome. Each morning, we nervously check each other to ensure that there is, as yet, no sign of contagion, knowing full well that if there is, it falls to us to spare the poor afflicted wretch the suffering of becoming one of those appalling creatures that make us all recoil in terror. We travel on, fearing the worst.

I Would Rather Become A Vome ...

Than A Porcelain Prince!

By this point in our travels, we had seen no end of the horrors the Deathlands have to offer travelers. Death in so many varieties - slow, sudden, painless and painful … it is easy to look through the gates of The Violet City and imagine this to be a pleasant, tranquil place. After all, what danger could grasslands offer? And then travelers reach the deceptively welcoming gates of the Porcelain Citadel, where all of the previous nightmare fuel burns in the abattoir engine of The Broken Line. Somewhere between an oubliette and charnel house, The Broken Line is most charitably described as a body farm for the Porcelain Princes, providing them with an eternal supply of meat, bodies stripped of souls and minds flensed of consciousness, ready to be inhabited by the consciousness of one of those easily broken squanderers concerned solely with delicacies and damask. Of all the atrocity exhibitions I have seen in wandering these wastes, the hours I spent dragging the finally deceased bodies to the pit for final disposal in The Broken Line are the ones I will never be able to escape. Whenever you see a Porcelain Prince, now you know what lies beyond the youth and beauty, the staggering human cost of their privilege and power. And when you do see a Porcelain Prince? End them. The dead will bless you a thousandfold.

Printed by Het Vrije Combinaat v/d Letterzetters and Drukkerij, Rode Landen

Lurid Pines II

Naida realizes that the heat rays shoot out of the tunnel every 30 seconds. Apok spots a nodule inside the tunnel that has some kind of movement tracking sensor. They keep clear of the tunnel for now and shift their attention to the sessile fern-rodents. Naida manages to tame one and Apok ponders the biomantic properties they might have. Naida persuades Apok not to take one with them for experimentation.

They haul some crates of Biomantic gear out of the cave. Hamish kicks one of the crates down the mountain to see if survives the fall. It does not. In horror Apok identifies the broken machinery inside as one of the machine parts they so desperately seek. The symbiont whispers of bloody revenge.

Buxom and ornate trees

 

Back in the cave Hamish hears moaning and the chattering of teeth coming from the concrete stairway. He spots bloated walking corpses followed by vicious looking child-sized hamsters wielding sickles. He kills one of the zombies. When the hamsters - wearing skulls and ear necklaces - rush upstairs Hamish retreats. Naida tries to lure them into the path of the heat ray but the hamsters are cunning and too quick. The heroes flee.

Cannibal hamsters (artist impression)

They return to the Behemoth Shell where Apok unsuccessfully tries to sell the gear to a Bonemancer and decides to put together a Biomancy experimentation kit instead. Hamish meats Fina di Mesa, a fellow Redlander travelling back to the Violet City. They share fermented goat milk and stories. Impressed by Hamish's reputation as a folk hero Fina reveals that Biomantic gear is in high demand at the Spectrum Run.

Shiver Urbert - Goat Milk Vendor and Dreamwalker extraordinaire

Knowing that the cave under the Lurid Pines hold many more crates of the dense commodity the heroes show remarkable entrepreneurial prowess and buy two massive autowagons mounted with turrets and a "handful" (two sacks!) of bone splinter grenades. They decide to take revenge on the cannibal hamsters.

65 tons of Soviet Pride

Actual Play: https://youtu.be/TiFjLBCrWH4

Lurid Pines

New Character: Apok, a Wise Doghead Purplefolk Anarchist, skilled in Biomancy. They carry a silver book proclaiming revolution and a brainhook. A blood symbiont madly whispers in their ears.

The heroes celebrate their victory in Shiver Urburt’s Yoghurt Bar with fermented goat milk. Azure notices that her body is changing and consults the shaman: she bulked up, her armor doesn’t fit and her skin is strangely knotted. Shiver Urburt advises her to visit the Pylon Kraal where she might get proper medical attention.

Hamish proposes to donate the slightly dented autowagon of the Redlanders to the Great Folk community but is voted down. Instead they decide to keep the wagon and give it a test drive to the cave Azure had seen in her vision.

Lurid "Pines"

Naida spots the entrance to the cave through the scope of her rifle: a solid vault door. Hamish “picks” it by jamming his sword into the lock’s machinery. A musky smell wafts out of the cave as they descend into the darkness. Motile ferns scurry away from the beam of Hamish’s flash light. Apok finds a crate with a familiar symbol -interlocking wheels – that indicates it once housed the machine parts they are looking for. But the crate is empty. Other crates are discovered, full of ancient Biomancy gear.

An ancient Biomancy Company

If the heroes listen closely they can hear organ music from deeper within the mountain. Nada sends Ajax down a concrete stair case to investigate. Azure explores the cave. The lichen covered cave walls are irregular metal plates reminiscent of Johnny-7’s hull. There is a crawlspace leading deeper into what might be another autofac. Within the tunnel half a dozen pairs of eyes stare back at Azure. Naida joins and is quickly tackled to the ground by Azure as a heat ray shoots out of the tunnel. Naida readies her shotgun.

Deeper within the Mountain

Hamish, waiting for Ajax at the top of the stairs, picks up soft conversations over the organ music: Distinguished voices with an oddly squeaky undertone. Listening closely Hamish realizes that the conversation phrases repeat themselves frequently. Ajax returns unimpressed but complains loudly to Naida that “the rats are fucked up!”. He refuses to elaborate.

Actual Play: https://youtu.be/jqlVGNuYNEI